Stream of Conscious/1

A rant? not exactly.
Obligatory space filling (it's been...)? nah.
Impulse? yeah

This is within. Suffering and joy. Cold wind rain and sweet warm sunshine. Do you feel them both in your life? Transitions, highs-lows work into my life like the punches while kneading bread dough. Working through life. Clearing throat, rubbing eyes, shaking head, swallowing audibly, pulling up sleeves, inhaling intently, smiling, waking up, getting up from a nap I can't take hold of.

It's cold and dreary-ish. Excitment over new classes zings and darts into a pocket with the lint ... once the work load starts, so begins the tumbling in the drier- shrinking back to reality. Or ... (ex)static-ly energizing, that's an option. Maybe I feel like this, maybe I feel anticiaption for projects, ideas to get off the ground. Maybe I'd like this blog to not be so middle school diary and emotion- but right now, I am feeling the distance of certain very good friends. Love for you. A smile for you.

I used a play a game with this one friend- a word game. He would say a word and I'd immediately say what came to mind. I'd say a word and he'd say what was right on his mind. I thought about this game about 10 minutes ago. Alot of words, ideas, emotions flow through me like water in creaks, streams, that connects to sisters and brothers of other waters--

What do you think after each of these words?
rape-- God-- Iraq-- education-- English-- race--- ethnicity-- photography-- kiss--
poetry-- affair-- food-- inclusion-- exclusion-- lesbian-- suffering-- park-- childhood---
injustice-- zoo-- distance-- apathy-- depression-- hunger-- relationships--

The significance of bringing the word game into this?: the thoughts, darting, flowing, connecting one to the other- the way cold wind rain and sweet warm sunshine, though different, are connected. Being aware of suffering and joy, continuing to rise up, listen and walk, connect to other people, introspect, grow.

Like the streams, creaks- bubbling, freezing, making their way- know that my love, peace and smile makes their way to you. You in Haiti, St. Louis, Cincinnati, Coahoma, Tijuana, Ontario, Johns Island, San Diego, Columbus, Dayton, Florida, El Salvador, Jonestown, China, France, Brussels, Spain, Spokane, Charlottesville... on and on. Places, words, names, connected. Love like water, water, water, flowing, moving, reaching, connecting, falling (like rain before the sunshine).