Poetry

What i Meant to Say...

i will not be assuaged, assualted
fallin an' falted
apprehensive, achin an' awry, wearily wiltin waste
dont think bout throwin mea'way
coverin me up with gray paste

i have been so deplorable, so sore
no mas, no mas, no more-
i now trek an' implore

the me in life, the life in me

i be me

standing close eyed lids over open eye balls imbibing eternal intricate existence
salubrious ! salutating !
sunshine rays on face
savvy: lips smile
bones, body, blood happy
(im) like (my) brown hair blowing with breeze
wispy lightly

so so so lately,
wound up wire
with vines vexing vituprously in mire
of a patriarchal world saluting to 'sire'
feel like mush all moshed around jumpin to no sound
just heart beat pound pound
pound. slam bam. rammin like rowers
didnt you know her
head too hot, steamed her ahead
kept her up late rather than sleepin in bed
Red mad Red love Red salsa
hot fresh tomato spice dicin up life
breakin apart pieces already broken
turnin broken bricks into token tricks
for sale like lemonade
saturday's garage sale ceramic whales
whalin, balin out blues from big mouth bellows
to all the fellows feelin cacophanous cavils
anwers,: worlds been doin nothin reply
to question: whats up world?

back of the classroom, clamoring contestation "i know ! i know !"
hand sprouting with definitive determination
no, no, the former contestation was a foul, false formation
a vestige
a verdad reveals: nothins up for the world
a sordid sinking, swirling whirlpool washing
faces places traces and graces drastically irevocably down
wondering, wandering wad of hell and heaven wonder
assuaged, assualted, at fault for fictional blunder

so so so wired into mire no no no
answering a fervent desire to rise-inspire

reclamation
-- RECLAIM who YOU are.
(reclaiming who I am)

fight the false phonie fictional
battle staring idly squashed by proposterous prattle
whale's whalin right with: a cacophonous cavil
world yields to nothin but: unravel
mode, oh no... hit the stop bottom NOW
erosion, explosion, one giant waste mass of smelly ass
bubbling up dead grass (brown) and lake bass
bellowing from bowels of Big Foot and TRex's sand
land, Mickeys small world afterall
the whole thing in His hands

here I am running down every street, hallway, trial, village
perspicacity, perseverence, pissed off privilege
where who when why whats the plan
gotta wanna havta understand
the whales, rocks, worlds rammin and bangin
trees knocked and sliced to aid surfeit
...for coal, homes, bridges, books, paper (guilt)
a monsoon of madness
maunders in my mind-- a blind
bearded white man (eck, why?) in
a robe, a magician? a wizard?
from Oz or Ontario
whats the dealio
the point's dilatory like
a slow death, on Easter-- shit, one year. fuck.
observe obscenities wonder insanities
incessant, insouciant inklings, stretchings so unsoothing
barely fill the space
the crossword blocks with brilliance
never get anywhere without the next days answers
which when arrived
throwya back to yesterdays uncertaintys curse

and what am i sayin, standin needin interpretin
the lunacy so as not to perceive piracy
so as to... jump outta my quilted quagmire
jiggle the locked rusty door knob
jimmy the keys unlocking the secret of being
to carve the stamp, open the ink, one two three four
ready to label you, me, some more
check off the last, midd, first of yur chores
im no toilet to clean
no clothes to put in a washin machine
no friend to apologize for bein mean
to, no plane to book to catmandu
no, i'll tell you the answer to the riddle i know
the right way to sew out of the quagmire status quo
then, crossurhertanhopetonot die once you know

open eye ball livin
constantly givin
your face to the mase feel the zing sting ring
sound of th ebell wishin you could escape this hell
LIFE-- raw, bleeding blasphemous minutia
is eye open, eye balls wide so white
want to touch
with the end of a paint brush
capture the ululating rush
always always shhh'd up in a hush
STOP LYING. START CRYING.
pick your nose
prick your finger on a thorny rose
to kno you bleed if you have to
to know yor alive
if you must prove the marrow, mind, muscles and
mess
you, you the only, the best path you have to ride
not one blink, breath, being to hide
ride. decide. chide and choose this life is
yours to hold, not to lose
breathe thru yur nose sniffle if you must
aware of past, future, present or else it'll be a bust
never carved, shaped, shared, did or dared
this moment not the end another hill, stream, around the bend
let life in, open gates of your guarded giant glorious
castle
be a rascal
rebel against complacent, monotonous tradition
notice the rocks and their fissions
have nothing but 'being' yor mission
gladly, humbly wash the dishes
swallow hard, dont damp dry yur armpit sweat
get grass as you
roll down the hill, love deep, true
and perhaps what will lead to
laughter in lands, plans... receptive likeopen glands
eye balls engaged in life
yes yes yes yes yes
engaged benevolence, malevolence
no no no but yes
eye balls open white sockets touched, paint brush
pciture of mutilation (NO more), violent sensation
no MORE horror knockin bangin in the drawer
(if you, alive with it) open it read it feel it bleed it
dont bow or disavow, decide it
be part in confiding the cacophany
terrorizing the terra
to you me cher, and yogi berra
oprah and the soap-a washing the dirt and
grime after a sweaty sordid day time
trek searchin for the malevolence you hadnt felt yet
in your drawer something
never held, worn, shown before
an assailing allure
aching breaking taking good and slaking it with
splintered wood pieces sticking into
your wrinkled forhead creases
walking around needing a new lease on life
agghhh the strife
carve the splinters out with a knife
see the scars subtly sore
world in an absolutely zoo-ish caged uproar
peeled bak raw, oozing out the jaw

billowing sails blundering over braille
system back to sqaure one
hurry come here, the worlds almost undone
Haiti a hell dump pot rank in dictatorial doom-ruin
wrecking ball US out heckling at the gates
of life-- jesting in the face of grief
here, here, hear words: iraqoccupation, palestinegazawestbankisreal, darfur, kenya, americancities, elsalvador
on and on, more and more

my life, (yours), an open door
cogitate, consider compassionate implore
ing, denotes a process in the moment
accepting the dingbats, dangers, goofheads, guidos, open guts and demon dents
ladies and gents
jambo
bonswa
nee hao
kumbya, salaam,
sianoranever

always hello
always eye balls open
door ajar
's as hard as heaving anvils far
going by King's ark
set yur feet and mak yor mark
light, fan, shineshare yor spark
in the cool, damp tortured corner dark
singing canourously, lucidly: an illuminating lark
both hands placed on breathing tree bark

swim when at the sea
or feel free to let it be
to sit and see, sunrays imbue you resolutely
as cloud grays gather disulliosonley
honesty

to celebrate myself (thanks Walt)
fingernails, hair, heart beat, sweating arm pits, two feet gets
every word, picture, value, belief
every moment momentum moving
love real as sunshine
leaves's susurrous, water garrulous
life-- pealing back its ring
biting into juicy sweet orange find

be
beating
majestic simple beauty
wrenching sad beauty

imbing, searching, inviting

me into my life
the whale, the war, the world
as it unravels i race to the split root origin
mother earth moon star virgin
the riddle is the answer sayeth plenary providence
heart, eyes, palms, paths open hence
for life to be given any chence

stop the charade
pink ponies prance in a phony parade
search, uncover Truth, a once vestige
mind steadfast and resolute
to spin the wheel of myriad metaphors meant to elucid
-ate extant, my, your existence
must have us some substance
when yor all you got
you got alot
sit in the spot connec the dots
connect you to you
how youfeel, live, break, take give
your part in the room-- rocking, digesting
listening, open eye balling
world unraveling in a pulled out drawer
decide, decide... the life in you
the you in life
cannot be considered trife

epilogue:
not sure what it all means
take it for how what where when
it seams
pocket to pants
stuch in a trance
entreat you to step on yor feet
walk thru sun,snow,sleet

let you meet you- the life in you
you in life
in all the itty bitty pieces
in all the tremendous tapestries
of moment
of vida, vie-eternal be,

and i BE